Oct 25, 2011

Tonight...I told him to shove it.

melli@melliinc.com
    
        Lashing out doesn't make life different.  Being in control, or having the outside "look" of it, makes things appear different.  No person is ever truly in control.  One would hope that people are able to respect one another so that we as a group, can feel good.   Sometimes, enough is just enough.
       The first step in being respected by another...even an insect...is respecting yourself.  That fly buzzing around in the corner?  Not coming anywhere near me...   I respect myself.
     Am I the slimmest, strongest, smartest?  Honestly?  I just might be.  There is a scene at the end of the first Harry Potter movie.  Neville is granted points to  Gryffindor.   He has stood up on behalf of, not only himself, but on behalf of his "House".    He did what he needed to keep the integrity of the house strong.  Despite being terrified, despite feeling insecure about himself, he got up, and held his "wand at the ready".  He happened to come out at the end of the series a true hero.  And it all began on one seemingly calm evening, when he stood up to his fellow house-mates.   His family.
    Tonight, I stood up for my family.  My battle is just beginning.  My healing is only just starting.  However this turns out, whatever the ramifications are, I am confident that my paternal grandmother, and my Ducky, are looking down on me...While they may not be smiling with pure joy... they are absolutely glowing with pride.  Tonight, I respect myself, my children, my husband, and anybody that comes after us.
    Tonight, I sent a letter to the family lawyer  ...  and told my father to shove it.   

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