Twitter:ohmymelli

Staring at denim covered knee caps, I suddenly felt like Andy.    The interview-esque meeting wasn’t for Runway, and Prada isn’t intimidating.  Still, that last minute “oh fuckstix what did I do” feeling sunk in...hard.  Shit.   I thought I’d swallowed my spleen.

As usual, in traditional me fashion, moxie came back, swept through the scene, and set the stage.

A divine little coffee house, near the water, in the town I was born in.   No worries.

So, eco- happy gift bag (olive branch)on the empty wooden table.  Black (lunch-box) “work bag” on the chair to my left.  Classic Chanel quilted tan bag, with leather and silver handle displaying appropriately (but subtly) the CC logo.  And me.  Honestly, un sure any meeting would really happen,  with knees tucked to chin. 

Jeans, Uggs, Def Leppard concert tee, (washed out and black), a diamond ring set on one hand, aqua and topaz design on the other and my ipad nestled on top.   Breathing is a must if one hopes to accomplish life let alone a may be interview-esque meeting.

I dropped my pen in the dirt when I slipped on my way out the door this morning.   Fuckstix.  I can’t sketch?  Oh holy hell I can’t even write.  Of all the times in my life, TODAY I don’t have a writing utensil, really?  SERIOUSLY?!  Wait, don’t panic … type darling.  Bingo.  

Scene set, let’s see what I have to say.

I'm waiting for somebody.  I’m good with people, even the most obnoxious excuse for one, yet here I am, starting to quake like a sitting duck.  Fuck.  I don’t remember the moment I swallowed my spleen, but I absolutely have.  It isn’t necessarily him that’s flipped my spinal column upside down, rather it’s what he represents (potentially).   Probably.  It’s very likely this man is the beginning of my next chapter.   

So what do I represent?  I’m shy, but I’m here.  Strength.  My legs are jelly, but I’m here.  Confidence.  Snagging an hour of this man’s precious time?  Courage, balls and audacity.  Nice Mell!

A musician, business man, cool guy, great husband, dad of the century  etc etc etc.  Today, to me he's a well respected, writer.   Ambitious.   A get up and make it work man.  Though it isn’t about money, it’s about credit where such is due.   It’s taken almost a year.   E-mails, voice mails, a text here and there, matched on both his side and mine, accompanied by my sweet natured get up and go, have resulted in now.    I hope? 

Yesterday “the” song came on.  It’s on my iPod, but I kid you not, it disappears from time to time.  At seemingly random moments it plays.  Startling me, yet teaching me timing.  I pulled into the driveway, hopped (literally) out of my Jeep, then calmly but with intention, I sat down, counted to ten, and sent the following message.

“You don’t have to get me a job.  I’ll do that.  And you don’t need a sob story, but you’ll kick yourself hard if you pass on mine.  Confidence is as much a virtue as patience.  (This I know)  Lucky for you, I don’t have anybody else smart enough (or worth said patience) to hound.  So, bark.”

Less than a second later, he called and said he’s coming to LA.   Stay smart Melissa.  “When?”.  Tomorrow he replied.  Shit shit shit… “What time do you arrive, I’ll be at the airport.”  I’m sorry who jumped in and took over my vocal cords??  How …assertive?  Whoa.  Wow.  Go little Meliss.   The kicker is he didn’t argue.  He didn’t?  Really?  Nope.  I didn’t give him the chance.  He told me the ETA, and the last words were mine.  “I’ll see you when you land”. 

Boom!  (did I mention the silent fist punch into the air?   There may have also been a cartwheel)

Sans sleep, I unraveled myself from the sheets, showered etc, then put myself together, looked ok (all things considered don’t ask), and … that’s when I lost my pen.   It wasn’t a  “slip”, I kind of passed out-ish.   Boom indeed.

Found a handful of pride hanging on a near bye tree branch, went back inside, ate something, drank a Vitamin Water, dusted myself off, jumped into jeans, and transformed back to the real me. 

In this technological world of apps up and out the wazoo, the only meaningful energy source has dwindled it’s way down, to me. 

My sisters just called.  "Don't be nervous.  Well c'mon, it's you. 

When have you not gotten whatever you wanted?  Your there, go get it". 

#NuffSaid

Quite Kindly,

Possibly lacking a spleen, but not on my knees and fully clothed,

Me.  Little…But Oh My Indeed. 

iHope

PS – He just walked in.  Crimany, I’ve forgotten how to speak.