Sparkle & Fly... Dedicated to Holly.

           In my last post I was a little...agitated.   So many things have happened that are just so ...well...agitating.   However, I don't feel that way any longer.   We all have our days.  Some would admit even to having their weeks or months...I've not said ever "year".  This last spring wasn't easy.  After the head trauma from the car that wasn't there...and the tumultuous ups and downs any relationship encounters...well, I got tired.  "For better or worse" only goes so far.   Think of it like a drive down Decker Canyon.  Seriously.  That's how life seemed to be for me.  Every time I came out of a twist, boom there was another turn.  Thankfully I have some very good friends that helped me push through.    Some that didn't even know they were doing it!   Simply by making me laugh rather than cry, wow...you just never ever know what somebody else is thinking.   Somebody may grimace at you simply because you are next to him on the stair-master.  Not because it's you, rather because of how shitty he feels.   You never know what somebody is really struggling with.   At the very same time, this is a two way street.  Holly, not knowing me from a tile on her ceiling, made me laugh, and said "hello"  at the moment I was reaching for the tissues.  
            Anyway, yesterday, after finally trudging my way back up through Decker Canyon, and into my enchanted home...something really amazing happened.   An epiphany!   I love that word!   I was about to hop into my car, and noticed a beautiful yellow and periwinkle butterfly.   So graceful and poised, sailing on the back of the wind.   She landed.  I took more photo's than I can count.   And really this was one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever had the honor of seeing.   After twisting myself into a pretzel, I fell...on my bum.  Ka-Boom...poor little babe was scared and flew away.   This magical little carrier of wisdom actually made two circles around me.   Ridiculously, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and said out loud, "oh no please don't leave, please let me take just one more picture"?  And do you know what this  tiny ( but mighty) butterfly did?   She landed...so close to me I was tempted to pick her up.   I didn't though, it's disrespectful...She came back and landed and didn't move one teeny little half of a half of a tinier half of herself...and I took another handful of photo's.   What an outstanding and magnificent beauty!   The second set of pictures shows the truest colors in such measure...it was stunning.  
       This little act reminded me of something, and enlightened me to another.  I've always said, in my life's goals, I wanted to make the world smile.   Holly made me smile...and insists I do the same for her.  I've also always wanted to have two boys.  I do.  And always, I've wanted to use this voice of mine as a performing artist...I'm working on that.  I've also wanted to design.  Am I the Queen of a Fashion Empire?  Not yet.  But I will be...am I an Emmy winning comedian?  No, but my voice will get recognition.   I'm not Mary Poppins, but I'm Mommy, and I do the very best I can.   AND even though it took me forever to see it, I do make the world smile.   The butterfly made me see ME.   Flying around and graceful, but not yet gleaming in the sun...and then after the ka-boom, when she landed in front of me, and the colors just sparkled and radiated all this powerful good energy, I saw that I've always been here.   I just couldn't sit still long enough to see myself sparkle.  
        Dearest Puncher of all things Junk...  you didn't even know how much I needed the smile.   Thank you ever so kindly for helping me find my sparkle...and for being another "Little...But Oh My".
                                                                         PHOTO #1

PHOTO #2