Jul 26, 2011

Trauma, Triumph and some really fun photographs. ;)

Melli@melliinc.com

         People tell me all the time how much I look like Audrey Hepburn.   I remind them of her.
         My design technique, is reminiscent of Coco Chanel.
         There's just something about me that takes them back.   Like I myself am becoming a new version of the "Old Hollywood" starlets.
         I love this of course.
      
         Once in a while, I do feel beautiful.  It feels right to me when people associate me with these legends of a magical time in Hollywood.   Tonight, I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time.   From it the following quote stood out to me.
  
          "...that's just the trouble...it's a mistake you always made...trying to love a wild thing...You mustn't give your heart to a wild thing."

        A "free spirit" isn't  uncommon for me to hear.  Things I do, say or feel aren't ever surprising to those that do truly know me.   Nobody that honest to good gracious knows me would tell you the thought of my becoming a legend is surprising.   People ... even the shallowest of them... have said to me so very often, that I've got "star power".   A "sparkle" inside.
          I grew up feeling like I was magic.   Somehow, I held (and continue too hold) the beauty that designed "Hollywood" throughout it's "Golden Age" and  on it's "Silver Screen".   I've always felt like I WAS part of the magic.   The truth is that since before I can remember, I've seen these images for my life.   These valiantly, courageous,strong, beautiful, glamorous, and famous images...of me...as a star.   A STAR.   For years I've known and held onto these visions and dreams, (bluntly they've been referred to  as "premonitions").
         Here's the kicker.   The entire time that I was meticulously planning, and working non-stop to follow my dreams... I was being hurt... in ways that even "the terrible two's" couldn't have possibly called for.   Yet some how, I never lost the pillar of strength that is ME. The part of myself that is capable of enchanting the world and does in fact make people smile.   No matter how badly I'm hurting...or being hurt by so many others, I've held onto reality.  
       Am I crazy?  NOT A CHANCE!!!   Do I have issues?  Yeah...do you not?   Can you admit that you do?   If you can't...well, then maybe it's time for some professional help.  ;)   Do I know that taking myself out of a situation could possibly lead me into another just as scary?  Yes I do.  "The Devil You Know Is Better Than The Devil You Don't"?   Not always.  
       Faith in myself, confidence in those that do truly love and cherish me as much as I do them, have helped me come through a life of sexual, physical, and verbal abuse.  And the Magic of Good Old Hollywood...and better yet, knowing that I'm becoming a part of it.
        I'm adding a handful of photo's.   They are from an "App"...they are FUN...and ridiculous...but never the less...These are the comic relief...and maybe, just maybe, they are the true tellers for those of you that are too dense to see it anywhere else.  ;)
Luv & Angels, and Quite Kindly Yours, Melli































      
   

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