Trauma, Triumph and some really fun photographs. ;)

Melli@melliinc.com

         People tell me all the time how much I look like Audrey Hepburn.   I remind them of her.
         My design technique, is reminiscent of Coco Chanel.
         There's just something about me that takes them back.   Like I myself am becoming a new version of the "Old Hollywood" starlets.
         I love this of course.
      
         Once in a while, I do feel beautiful.  It feels right to me when people associate me with these legends of a magical time in Hollywood.   Tonight, I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time.   From it the following quote stood out to me.
  
          "...that's just the trouble...it's a mistake you always made...trying to love a wild thing...You mustn't give your heart to a wild thing."

        A "free spirit" isn't  uncommon for me to hear.  Things I do, say or feel aren't ever surprising to those that do truly know me.   Nobody that honest to good gracious knows me would tell you the thought of my becoming a legend is surprising.   People ... even the shallowest of them... have said to me so very often, that I've got "star power".   A "sparkle" inside.
          I grew up feeling like I was magic.   Somehow, I held (and continue too hold) the beauty that designed "Hollywood" throughout it's "Golden Age" and  on it's "Silver Screen".   I've always felt like I WAS part of the magic.   The truth is that since before I can remember, I've seen these images for my life.   These valiantly, courageous,strong, beautiful, glamorous, and famous images...of me...as a star.   A STAR.   For years I've known and held onto these visions and dreams, (bluntly they've been referred to  as "premonitions").
         Here's the kicker.   The entire time that I was meticulously planning, and working non-stop to follow my dreams... I was being hurt... in ways that even "the terrible two's" couldn't have possibly called for.   Yet some how, I never lost the pillar of strength that is ME. The part of myself that is capable of enchanting the world and does in fact make people smile.   No matter how badly I'm hurting...or being hurt by so many others, I've held onto reality.  
       Am I crazy?  NOT A CHANCE!!!   Do I have issues?  Yeah...do you not?   Can you admit that you do?   If you can't...well, then maybe it's time for some professional help.  ;)   Do I know that taking myself out of a situation could possibly lead me into another just as scary?  Yes I do.  "The Devil You Know Is Better Than The Devil You Don't"?   Not always.  
       Faith in myself, confidence in those that do truly love and cherish me as much as I do them, have helped me come through a life of sexual, physical, and verbal abuse.  And the Magic of Good Old Hollywood...and better yet, knowing that I'm becoming a part of it.
        I'm adding a handful of photo's.   They are from an "App"...they are FUN...and ridiculous...but never the less...These are the comic relief...and maybe, just maybe, they are the true tellers for those of you that are too dense to see it anywhere else.  ;)
Luv & Angels, and Quite Kindly Yours, Melli

      
   

Is it then?

melli@melliinc.com

      Below are lyrics from Green Days "21 Guns".   I hope it's not illegal to post them.   I personally am a Green Day fan, and for some reason, today, the words hit me...   We all take away what we will, or can, from any song we may hear.   To say that music is simply a "bunch of words put to a melody" is plain ridiculous.   "While a photograph is an artist's words, a song is an artist's photograph".   This touched me, so I'm sharing it with you.   Take from it what you will.   And tell me...what is worth fighting for...and how do you know when it no longer is?   Or is it eternally worth the battle?   Love & Angels...and as always, Quite Kindly Yours, Mell

Green Day.  21 Guns.

“Do you know what’s worth fighting for?

When it’s not worth dying for?

Does it take your breath away?

Are you suffocating?

Does the pain outweigh the pride?

And you look for a place to hide?

Did someone break your heart inside?

Your in ruins.”

Who is Melli...and why should you know...or why you shouldn't...???

Melli@Melliinc.com

    I suppose in this age of technology, it's hard to keep many secrets.   There is facebook, and probably a hundred other forms of communication ( therefor expression) where one is allowed the opportunities  to share bits and piece's of their world.   While I don't want to hide, I do try to keep things at a distance from most.   It's important though to begin as a human rather than break down in twenty years with a new book, movie, etc, describing the struggles of my life in the past.   It's important to remind the world that "Melli" is indeed a person, just as everyone else.  I hint here and there, that while yes, I am a fun, bouncy, flirtatious girl, I am only human.   I've made mistakes, I'm not perfect, and I work just as hard as anybody and everybody. 
     Quite Kindly, Mell  

See with your Soul...

         There is a book called "The North Star", by Peter H. Reynolds
"Although he was following the well-worn path, he had a growing feeling that he was lost."
"Well...I've been following the path.   It seems as if many people have taken it before me, and there have been many signs along the way..."    In the story, this little boy is following a path.   Although he's drawn to go outside of it.    He is guided in the proper direction through out the book, by a cat.  Then finally a bird asks the boy " But where do YOU want to be going?"   The boy's response is that he's uncertain exactly of where he wants to be going, but he does know he's not heading there by following the path.  The bird then says to him, "Ask yourself where it is you want to go, and then follow the signs you already know."   I'm a night owl.   I do my best work, from sketching, to writing, to designing, to anything at all, when the sun is down.   Finally at the end of the book, the boy begins to in fact see his signs...IN THE SKY...   And by following his own path, he begins the journey of life.  
        Knowing your lost, or on the wrong path, is SO insanely difficult, especially when the signs you see are the ones you THINK you should be seeing.   A friend said the other day, that while he didn't know where he should be, he did know where he was wasn't right.   So in a leap of faith, he quit pushing himself to do something that felt wrong...and began to figure out what exactly he needed to feel he was right.  
         It's not easy to see the bigger picture when your one of the main points of the photograph.   Sometimes, in a leap of honest faith, we have to force ourselves to literally jump out of the box.   And hope and pray that when we stand back up, and brush ourselves off, we are able to actually look at the entire piece of art with our soul.  
         How is it though that we know we're lost?   We don't.   Sometimes, people may hop off the beaten path only to find themselves craving it later on, as it was actually the one they wanted to be on.   The only way to really find out though, is to just go ahead and do it.  
           Follow your dreams...look into the sky...and realize that while most look to the suns placement to route their course, others, like me, look instead to the moon.  
           Follow Your Dreams,
                 Don't Ever Give Up
                         Jump if YOU Want...
                               And Have Faith in Yourself...  
"Where there's a will, there's a way".   Where there's your will, there's your way...even though it may bring us to the same place, our ways of travel may be entirely different.  ;)
                                                Quite Kindly Yours,
                                                         Melli

"Sympathy for the Devil"

"Sympathy for the Devil".   You know the Stones really had this right.  "All the sinners, saints".   It's very true actually.   We are only human yes?  No matter how difficult life gets, we have to also believe, that at some point, something just has to give.   The balance of that ( yes back to my Melli balance), but really, the "something" that does in fact "give" is your choice.   Easily, it could be the giving into, rather than going after and getting.   My knees will not give out...the world will though, give in...to me...devil or angel, I, Melli, am indeed worth it.   AND I won't stop until I've reached my "it".  If it's in voice over, design, or pole dancing.   Giving up isn't an option...and there's not any reason to do so.  I have love, and I have more than enough to share.   So yes, I am both a bit of the Devil, and the Angel, but I've got Sympathy for each of those sides in myself, and "Where there's MY WILL, things will work out MY WAY".   Ok, pep-talk complete.   I will succeed.   And not by sleeping my way up to the top...instead by being awesome, loving, generous, kind, and smiling at every single person I see...

"Passion and Balance" Oh, and Pixi-Perfect. ;)

           There is, in life, a natural balance.   A cycle of the elements.    The balance of "good and evil" as so often it’s referred too…the balance of "yin and yang", fire and water…soft hard etc.   And of course, the cycle of life and death.   Perhaps this is something that is balanced not only in life and the world, even the universe around us, but inside of our individual selves.   

          Have you noticed the very same mom, whose excitement reaches (loudly) the moon, when her child makes the “finals” is the mother that will easily knock somebodies front bumper to bits with a baseball bat?   It’s the passion, the fire that she holds inside.   It’s capable of being the fire and the ice.  Much like your co-worker whose personality is much like that of a toothbrush…not an electric one.    “Ok, that’s fine, it’s ok, the world is falling to ashes around me, but oh well.”   The person  you find yourself trying to PUSH to be happy when they’ve been promoted at work, or asked out by the girl of their dreams etc.    Their balance carries much less strength...unless of course they are secretly a sociopath in which case...well...stay far far away.  :)

          In trying to understand life as a whole, I’ve been forced into researching who Melli is as a whole.   That does require the untangling of each strand there is to the number of threads that make up me.   I’m a passionate person.   I have the ability to do anything…I don’t see any reason to not do something, or try something, or go for the world, because for me, the possible consequence is nothing compared to the more likely triumphs.   I see my own balance as a force.   When ignited, it’s a vicious Fire burning all obstacles.   This can be both good or bad.   When elated, it’s  rushing Water, movement that I cannot get to the world, or my loved ones fast enough to hug them.   When the days are long and dark, and I’m wrapped in a blanket reading a book, it’s Earth…a melancholy comfortable place of contentment.   And when I’m excited, or anxious even, it’s Wind…it can be softly brushing my cheek with it’s calming touch, or it can be howling so loud and hard that the doors and windows begin to knock in and out…AND once in a good while, when each of these elements is called to action simultaneously…well, then that becomes Storm.  Simple, graceful, powerful, strong, and showing no mercy .  

        Each of us carries our own levels of balance from within.  This has helped me personally, in not being afraid of challenge tossed my way.   It helps me keep my cool…even when on the inside I’m burning with fury.   It’s only human.   "The level of ones passion, is the truest level of ones balance."   
        Having faith in yourself, and sometimes in faith itself, is always helpful.   Understanding the balance, and the passion that YOU hold inside, is something that will more than astonish you...it's something that quite honestly, can change your entire life.   
         PS...I chopped off my hair...I am now (again) officially, a Pixi-Princess.  ;)

         

Rock~o...and a rose.

In reference to one that brings comfort, it's not uncommon we'll hear (or even say) "X is my rock".  By the grace of some higher power, I'm lucky to have several "rocks"in life.   There's one in particular whose ability is far beyond words...even for me.  ;)  Most of the time she silently swoops in, and takes over the job of my spinal column.    My "Rock-o" helps open my mind up, so that a bigger picture is clear...rather than just helping me get through the day.   She walks through the world with brilliant confidence, grace, gentle force, remarkable beauty (illuminated from the inside out) and in her wake leaves trails of smiles, relief, feelings of love and healing.   If ever there was a "Goddess" it would be her.   The fact that she teaches others how to utilize these traits in themselves, is amazing.   Likely she'll admit, just as I will, that yes, we do drive each other batty.  However, bottom line?    Well, hey, she's my rock...she rocks the modern world.   And I'm grateful every day of my life that she's willing to be apart of it.

She happens also, to be my sister.